News and updates.

My news is Lizzie and I have created our own new group for young mothers AND fathers! We meet up every Tuesday and Thursday. It's nothing fancy, just a helping type thing. First one is tomorrow! Excited! Ha :)
And the updates are;
My job is going well :) I actually really enjoyed it! I'm getting into writing a lot as well as art, so it's quite a good little job to have! I took a few books out to read in my free time, but I haven't got round to it yet. Everything just seems to be busy busy busy!
I'm thirteen weeks pregnant, and I wanna know the gender! I'm giving up. There's too many nice clothes on Mothercare's website! I just want to know now! On my twenty weeks ultrasound, I'm definitely finding out! I want to start thinking of names when I'm fifteen weeks. :)

It's sad.

I'm a believer in the theory that when someone is born, someone else dies. I'm not a particularly strong believer, but I think it happens more often than people think. This week has proved that.
As you all know, I mentioned two babies have been born. Well, if you are a friend of Kali's then you would have heard the news about what has happened in Wales. Two young boys have died. Neither over the age of fifteen.
One took his own life at thirteen, and the other died in a motorbike accident at fifteen. It's sad.
I guess Kali had to make some sacrifices for people I know to have babies, huh? My thoughts are with her at this sad time. And more importantly my prayers are with their families. I can't remember their names or the stories but if you ask Kali she might mention them. I'm not sure though because as you can imagine it's a touchy subject. I'm proud of her for staying strong. And her brother too, she says. <3

Job :)

I've got a part time job. I went to my local library after college today to pick up a few books that I need, and saw they needed a part-time assistant. So I asked for the details and asked if they wanted a CV. They said I'm the only offer they've had and they've been waiting for two weeks, so I got the job straight away! I start on Monday. Yay :)! I can actually put some money aside for Pickle now :D

Ultrasound.

I wasn't sure if I was going to put my ultrasound online, as safety is an issue for me. But I decided to tag it so I know it's safe. Once Pickle is born, my blogspot will become private. I'm sorry but I want to upload pictures, and the only way I can do that with at least a little piece of mind is by making sure I know all of the people viewing them.

Exciting news!

A few posts back I mentioned the girls I'd met at the young mothers club in my college.

Well, two of those have had their babies!

Jessica had her baby on the 19th. It was a little boy, and she called him Caleb. I haven't seen him yet, but once I heard the news I got so excited!

Aimee had her baby too! It was a girl, and she has named her Jade. Jade was born late hours of the 21st, and I recently got a text off Aimee herself inviting me down to see her! She is a close friend of Lucas' :) I can't wait!

My other bit of exciting information, is that my best friend of all time, Laurie, is pregnant! She's due just seven days after me! Apparently she's known for a while, she just hasn't told people. Crazy world! Crazy, crazy world.

Good old family meal.

My parents, Lucas' parents, and the both of us went to dinner earlier tonight. We talked about the baby, living situations, and college, and so on. I said that I don't want to find out the baby's gender. This proved controversial where Lucas' father and mine agreed with me, but our mothers - and Lucas himself - did not. They said that we should find out so that we can plan everything in advance. I refused and said I want a surprise when Pickle comes out! My dad agreed and said the moment would be so much more special if everything was new to us - seeing Pickle's face, naming him/her, and knowing the gender, etc. Paul, Lucas' dad, said that it'd be a more joyous event, and although we wouldn't be able to plan everything to suit one gender, there are plenty of neutral clothes and nursery designs which we could alter slightly to fit the baby's gender once he/she is here. Lucas and our mothers weren't having any of it. Luc says that he has a right as the father to know the gender of his own baby before he gets to meet him/her.The mothers backed this up and said that even though Paul had a good point, having a gender based theme would be much better. I refused, and always will refuse, to find out what I'm carrying inside of me. But the thing is, I want either all pink or all blue things for my Pickle. So to sort everything out, we have come to an agreement which suits everyone and is SO exciting! Basically when we go for my twenty week scan, we're going to tell the ultrasound technician that I don't want to know the gender, but Lucas does. So in the ultrasound we'll do all the checks, and then I'll put my iPod on and close my eyes. Since you can only have two people in the room with you, I'm taking two friends. I will close my eyes and block out any noise when the babies private parts are put up on screen, and the tech won't say anything. We'll ask her to write it down on a piece of paper. My friends will look after the paper and then give it to Lucas and our mothers in the car park. It's such a complicated way to do it, but it's fun I think! Lucas and our mothers will be the only ones who know the baby's gender. They will buy everything and even decorate the nursery. At risk of the rest of us finding out, they will be locking everything in the study (which will be Pickle's nursery) and keeping the only three keys on them at all times. I find it so exciting, my Gosh who would have thought that me, Alexis Grace Williams, would be having a baby right now! Aaagh! :D:D

Yes I copied and pasted, so what? It's a great song.

Where's the pain when you walk out the door
It doesn't hurt like it used to before
Where's the love that we couldn't ignore
It doesn't kick like a pill anymore
Where's the thrill at the end of our fights
Where's the heat when we turn off the lights

I just miss all the mess that we made
When we still have the passion to hate

I miss missing you, sometimes
I miss hurting you 'til you cry
I miss watching you as you try
Try not to end up in tears
Begging to get back together
I just want you to be
To be stuck in a second forever
So don't freak out and believe.

Sometimes I'm just missing
Missing You
I miss missing you

There’s a dark cloud pulling me in
That’s the girl I was breathing in sin
There’s a blind force letting it win
And it’s longing to tear us apart
I get high when you’re making me weak
Let me down ’til I crawl on my knee’s

I just miss all the mess that we made
When we still have the passion to hate

I miss missing you sometimes
I miss hurting you ’til you cry
I miss watching you as you try
Try not to end up in tear’s
Begging to get back together
I just want you to be
To be stuck in this second forever
So don’t freak out if I leave

Sometimes I’m just missing, missing you
I miss missing you

Miss missing, miss missing, miss missing
I wanna crush in your arms at the other side of the world
Miss missing, miss missing, miss missing
I wanna die for you ’cause love is only true if it hurts

I miss missing you sometimes
I miss hurting you ’til you cry
I miss watching you as you try
Try not to end up in tear’s (ooh)
Begging to get back together (together)
I just want you to be (want you to be, yeah)
To be stuck in this second forever
So don’t freak out if I leave

Sometimes I’m just missing (I’m missing)
Missing you (no, missing you)
I miss missing you

Confusion.

My head is all over the place lately. For two reasons.
The first, is the young mums and babies group at college. I wasn't going to re-apply, but my mum says I should. Everything I've been going through I have been so confused about. I have my twelve week scan tomorrow, even though I turned twelve weeks on Friday, and I have no idea what's going to happen. I have been so confused and worrying if everything is normal. My mum said I definitely need help and advice during this pregnancy. I agree, I just don't want to go through an application process for something I got let go from. If there was another group, maybe I'd join. There's none in my local area, though. Elizabeth (One of the mothers who also got told she was no longer a part of the group) has been talking about setting up her own. It won't be as good as the college's one, but at least anyone would be welcome and would talk about experiences/advice, etc. I might ask her what she's going with that tomorrow, and then I'll join hers or help her out, etc. That's better than re-applying for a college one where I'll have to spend money probably.
The second reason behind my confusion is Lucas. Since everyone found out that I'm pregnant he's been crowding me. It's only in free periods and break/lunch times, but it's really annoying me. It's nice to spend time with him and it's nice that we're back to normal, but he's just there. I don't have much time alone any more. Don't get me wrong, I love him to bits. It's just sometimes I need time to breathe. It's sweet that he's trying to protect me and Pickle (yes, that's what we're calling the baby until birth), but sometimes it gets a bit much. I don't know whether to say anything. I mean, if I don't he'll continue to suffocate me - but if I do then it could possibly ruin us, and right now is the only time we've been running smoothly since we found out about Pickle. I just don't know. I'm open to opinions and suggestions =) x

Just when things are looking up!

The young mums and babies group at my college has a lot of members, so they've decided to limit the places. To do this, they kicked a few people out. Those people were the ones who already have children, or who are 'mature and know how to handle the situation they have been given'. Since I'm a good girl in school.. One of the people kicked out was me.

They said that they had to narrow places down due to the length of the meetings and the cost of the things they get and such, so if people want places they have to apply. They said that if I wanted to be a part of the group and didn't feel mature enough myself since they don't really know, that I can apply for a place myself and I'll be top of the list. I don't think I will, but I'm going to ask to look at the packages and stuff that people get, and I'm going to ask if I can get a reserved place at the nursery in my college for my little pickle.

I'm not glamorising teen pregnancy..

But in college there are a few young mums, and I've recently met them at our college's young mothers group :) It started up yesterday, and everyone was given a list of the members and their details, ordering in age of first pregnancy or child. I don't know why I'm writing the list down, but it'll help me remember everyone so I guess that's my excuse :)!


Kelly - eighteen - six weeks and three days
Alexis - sixteen - ten weeks and five days
Skye - sixteen - twelve weeks exactly
Laura - nineteen - twelve weeks and six days
Kate - eighteen - twenty one weeks and four days
Shelby - eighteen - twenty six weeks and one day
Alexa (two lex's, not fun!) - seventeen - thirty weeks and two days
Louise - seventeen - thirty two weeks exactly
Aimee - seventeen - thirty seven weeks and four days
Jessica - eighteen - thirty nine weeks pregnant and four days (due very soon!)
Grace - seventeen - three week old son Shaun (she only comes in for the meetings, she won't come back to college until Shaun is nine weeks)
Jasmine - eighteen - five month old son Jacob
Emma - seventeen - nine month old daughter Haylee
Kimberly - seventeen - one year old son Liam
Joanna - sixteen - one and a half year old daughter Macy
Hannah - nineteen - almost two year old daughter Kayleigh
Leah - sixteen - two year old daughter Evelynn, twenty two weeks and six days pregnant
Gemma - sixteen - three year old daughter Annie, sixteen weeks pregnant exactly
Elizabeth - sixteen - three year old son William, ten weeks five days pregnant (YES, DUE DATE BUDDIES!)


So far, Elizabeth, Skye and I have hit it off! We're being put into groups though, and all the sixteen year olds are likely to be together so we'll get closer with the other yummy sixteen year old mummies :}!